Why you must give credit to people?

Most of us suffer have a fear of giving people credit for what its worth!
The credit that is due, something you know in your heart, loud & clear. Yet you wait for that perfect day or moment to tell them that they did you good or perhaps even avoid doing it ever!
Telling some one what they did was great or complimenting them on a great job is nothing but a form of practicing gratitude. In the older times it was a part of good  manners as well.
Insecurity cripples us at many levels. When we go ahead & give people credit for something they did great, or compliment them in any way, we step away from an insecure mindset.Yet, It’s a process which makes us vulnerable, may be that is why we avoid it so much!

Giving credit is nothing but telling someone that their act of helping you, guiding you, teaching you or supporting you was acknowledged. It is a simple form of gratitude. I am not talking about only family & friends but also people who you went to school/college with or worked with, who may have been in your life for a brief period but added value to it. Someone you have’nt seen for years but did you some good.

I often see now, when we lose someone, we all have so many nice things to say about people once they are gone, we leave no stone unturned to share their greatness on social media, but all of this unravels only once they are gone!
Why cant we do this before someone goes??? When they are alive??? Why cant we tell those stories now??
What are we scared of? Why Do we feel they don’t deserve it today?? 

I was once stuck in this rut, but I soon realized karma comes a full circle, the more I will avoid standing up & applauding someone who deserves it the more is going to come back to me. No one will stand & applaud for me either.
I broke that chain, I made myself vulnerable & starting telling all those people who needed to hear it from me. Not everyone took it the way I expected but that did not matter, I knew I had started doing something good for my mental well being. And I continue to do so, it makes things easier for me, it makes all the positive vibes rush in to my life. Gratitude has that power!

Gratitude makes us feel better, the more you practice this the more you will receive.

Here are 4 more reasons why you should take out time & thank some people you need to:

  • Gratitude improves psychological health : Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. 
  • Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression : Grateful people are more likely to behave in a pro-social manner, even when others behave less kind, according to a 2012 study by the University of Kentucky. Study participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback. They experienced more sensitivity and empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge.  Empathy leads to mutual respect, which improves the quality of you interpersonal relationships.
  • Grateful people sleep better : When you practice this gesture of gratitude towards another person your mind resonates those vibrations, and surprisingly when you recall those grateful sentiments before bed you end up sleeping better and longer. 
  • Gratitude improves self-esteem : A 2014 study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased athlete’s self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance. Other studies have shown that gratitude reduces social comparisons. Rather than becoming resentful toward people who have more money or better jobs – which is a major factor in reduced self-esteem- grateful people are able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments.
So go ahead, open that old photo album, rekindle some old forgotten relationships, call that old boss or classmate of yours, thank them for watching out for you or just letting you be.
I hope this helps you realize that life & karma both are so forgiving, they can offer us double of what we can offer them.

Stay happy stay blessed!

Learnings from a traffic jam

Pune is not a huge metro city, we have a good mix of big & small roads, tiny lanes & one-ways, with a dash of faulty signals & graciously distributed pot holes too. Almost every day there is a jam on some or the other road.
I tried to find a reason, relating this situation to a deeper life meaning, trying to understand why does a traffic jam happen?? It is still the same road, same people, just because there is a faulty traffic light or absence of a traffic policeman, Why does it all have to go out of control???
Despite being educated, despite being aware of the traffic rules and despite the basic common sense training, is it soooooo difficult for us to think logically & take steps to ease a jam??
Last evening, I spent an hour in a jam that could have been solved in just 15 mins tops and I observed the behaviour of people on the road.
When I got stuck in the jam, the left side of the road stopped moving, slowly the entire right side of the road was taken over by the left side commuters on bikes(majorly) & cars. They just wanted to go first. Now, This caused an extended jam because no traffic could move on the either side of the road. All everyone had to do was stick to their side of the road and let the situation ease out, instead everyone decide to block all outlets.
 Now I thought to myself, are we all this stupid??? May be yes!
The key things I learnt here:

  • Rules make life easier: At least in this case! Jumping a red light, driving on the wrong  and other similar acts would have been allowed if it helped a smooth traffic. So obviously there is a reason they are not! These rules are put in place for a reason, let us learn to trust this process and stay out of bending or breaking them.  It is not cool to break every rule in life, specially the one that can causes others inconvenience or even causes you a fatal injury. Think before you want to show your bravado or fearlessness on the road. It does not translate into you being the same in real life.
  • Me first attitude: Traditionally the biggest cause of any traffic jam is the” me first” attitude. Someone in the crowd wants to win a race or just does not want to get stuck or something like that, He/she takes the lead to cause a jam. Ironically he/she does not realise that they are causing a huge chaos & large waste of time with that one stupid move. Similarly in life I think it’s ok to let someone go first, may be he needs to, trust people, don’t try to get out of everything without caring about what price the other person, the one right behind you will have to pay for this move. This highly selfish behaviour causes ambulances & genuine commuters to be stuck for hours with no fault of their own. Whether you are a slow or a fast driver, it won’t cost you much to just not cause everyone else trouble. Be patient, think like a grown up.

  •   No Compassion: Everyone wants to get their destination, agreed, but can we be a bit more compassionate towards other humans on the road. Rage is bad & so is ignorance. I see some people just ignoring people who want to take a pass even on an empty road. May be if you let others go first, it will solve the problem faster. This applies to all of us, the one who is letting you go first & the one who is going first. Be compassionate, maybe he needs to go first or faster. Be responsible. Show some regard, yes you do not know every person on the road, but it won’t harm to develop a mutually respecting society around us.

  •  There are some good people: Every jam brings forward some heroes. The ones who care about everyone, who step out of their car & tell people what to do. They take the lead & solve the problem. Some help while sitting in their cars too. It is amazing to see how only a few people care enough to get up & help a stuck school bus or an ambulance. These people don’t get any sort of recognition or credit, they are forgotten soon after you get out of the jam, but they still do it! Respect them, be like them, get inspired by them, all because we need more like them.

  • Start with disciplining yourself:  Like someone once rightly said “To Change others, start with yourself.”  After you complain about others & their reckless driving, spend a moment to introspect, are you a responsible driver/rider? Do you make efforts to not further cause a jam?  Do you unnecessarily jump signals or break random traffic rules because it’s easy & fun?  Do you contribute effectively on the road in a situation? If you don’t, it is never too late to change that. We need to bring about that positive change, for a better Pune, for a better India  & a better tomorrow. We need to bring that change for our younger generations to come. They will learn & adapt to a world we create for them, if that means recklessness & irresponsible attitudes on the road or in life, they will learn just that! To teach them compassion we must practice that too.

🚦🚦Hope this inspires you to be a responsible driver/rider!🚦🚦
Stay blessed 💟