Hearing about so many young boys & girls trying out suicide as an option because of stress, of different levels, makes me feel horrible!
Hence this post has been on my mind for the longest.
What is Stress? And why do we succumb to it so easily? In today’s time have we made it difficult for ourselves to nurture & nourish our minds with positivity? Are we missing the whole point of life here? Do we know how to cultivate positivity?
It is strange but true, that we live in a world which is extremely self consuming. Be it the internet, the social media and the technology, they were all created to make our lives easy & more entertaining. But we have rather chosen to be driven by these, and depend on them heavily. Social media, mobiles and many other mediums were created to share thoughts & stay connected with people. Perhaps, today that is not the only role these mediums play.
With the increasing competition and the race of ambitions anyone is bound to feel lost and defeated. There are times when each of us fails, whether it’s the most influential person in the world you know of or your peer at work or school. There are also times when life fails us at a personal level in the form of a grave illness, death of a loved one or anything unfortunate which we are not prepared for. Eventually some are able to get over it or are able to take it in their stride, whereas there are some who just cannot come out of this zone, they get stuck in the spiral of negativity which comes with these situations. They repetitively ask themselves why me? Instead of solutions they tend to focus on the problems.
I am no guru or pandit, neither do I want to be a philanthropist. I am just a regular person in this big world, just like someone you meet at your work, school or neighbourhood. I am one of you and because of that I am sharing my experience that can apply to anyone & everyone. With all the hard times I have seen in my life, all the failures & successes, I am sharing a simple step by step guide to combat this negative process and rise above this all to enjoy a quality life. Primarily cultivate positivity!
Step 1: Accept yourself
When something unfortunate happens to you or something difficult arises in your life, Step back, sit down and accept this willingly. By accepting I mean realising that this has already happened and you can do nothing to undo it. You may have failed, or lost a loved one or been through something miserable, but remember none of us can go back in time and change it. Not you, not me, not even god.
There is a saying about Lord Ram – he was the ultimate lord of his times, people called him the best leader, the best son, the best brother, he honed all the qualities for a great ruler as well, but could he escape hardships?? No!! The day he was supposed to be crowned the emperor of his kingdom, he was awarded with a 11 year exile punishment instead. Imagine his disappointment; he was thrown out of the kingdom he was supposed to rule. Then his wife was kidnapped (by Raavan) and he went through a line of struggles get her back & to live a regular life. You must wonder if he was god, he could easily undo all of this and live a life as per his desires. But did he?? No! why?? Because there is no learning in that! He learnt a great deal with each of these hardships. He accepted them like a challenge, he found a way to come out of these and prepared himself better to not let that happen again.
Don’t waste your time in thinking Why me? That will make no difference. It was meant to happen this way, but now what you do about it going forward makes all the difference. Accept your inner strengths & weaknesses and accept the situation gracefully. As they say, with acceptance comes the learning.
Step 2: Prepare yourself
We need to accept a situation as is, prepare ourselves to develop a temperament to be able to handle hardships better. It is not a skill one is born with, it is a skill we develop and master over time.
Meditate, pray, read positive books, do gardening, yoga or do anything that infuses your mind & body with positive energy. Refrain from complaining & cribbing it does the maximum damage. Practice kindness it does wonders to our minds & souls. Help people however you can. It will undo all the good you have done so far in positive thinking. This is work but it’s worth it; after the first initial times which will be hard & unusual, for the days to follow it will become a part of your life. Like we spend time getting ready for a party or an event, or a festival at home, we must also prepare our minds for the good & the bad times that we may have to encounter in life. Nurture your inner being. It doesn’t matter how old you are it is never too early or too late to develop a positive mindset. Do this yourself and encourage others to do it too.
Step 3: Detox often both your body & mind
Every religion has a practice to abstain from things you generally like for a stipulated time, ever wondered why. Well my reasoning is it’s a simple exercise for our mind & body to function outside our comfort zone; because that is where the real learning comes from. We regularly get sucked into the mundane, routine life and become comfortable with it. Hence a slight change in this settled mindset, throws us off the hook, and this is that exact point where stress creeps in. To be able to handle stress better. Detox from things or habits you are addicted to. It is tough to first accept that you may be addicted. It can be a video game or facebook browsing or even eating junk food. Spend some time to identify what your addiction is, once identified start with a detox plan, it could be a short duration plan based on your ability to handle this detox. It helps you create a better version of yourself. After this you can go back to step 1.
I will conclude with this belief that we have one life, which is so precious, please try out all other ways to fight depression & stress before you even think of even slightly harming your life. If all the other options don’t work try them again & again & again. Because no matter what the problem is, giving up should not be an option!
My book UmeniTherapy is just a small attempt to divert your minds to positivity through creative Destress Coloring. If you are feeling low or stressed, this is something I request you to try, after all this is the least I can do to ease your troubles.