Why you must give credit to people?

Most of us suffer have a fear of giving people credit for what its worth!
The credit that is due, something you know in your heart, loud & clear. Yet you wait for that perfect day or moment to tell them that they did you good or perhaps even avoid doing it ever!
Telling some one what they did was great or complimenting them on a great job is nothing but a form of practicing gratitude. In the older times it was a part of good  manners as well.
Insecurity cripples us at many levels. When we go ahead & give people credit for something they did great, or compliment them in any way, we step away from an insecure mindset.Yet, It’s a process which makes us vulnerable, may be that is why we avoid it so much!

Giving credit is nothing but telling someone that their act of helping you, guiding you, teaching you or supporting you was acknowledged. It is a simple form of gratitude. I am not talking about only family & friends but also people who you went to school/college with or worked with, who may have been in your life for a brief period but added value to it. Someone you have’nt seen for years but did you some good.

I often see now, when we lose someone, we all have so many nice things to say about people once they are gone, we leave no stone unturned to share their greatness on social media, but all of this unravels only once they are gone!
Why cant we do this before someone goes??? When they are alive??? Why cant we tell those stories now??
What are we scared of? Why Do we feel they don’t deserve it today?? 

I was once stuck in this rut, but I soon realized karma comes a full circle, the more I will avoid standing up & applauding someone who deserves it the more is going to come back to me. No one will stand & applaud for me either.
I broke that chain, I made myself vulnerable & starting telling all those people who needed to hear it from me. Not everyone took it the way I expected but that did not matter, I knew I had started doing something good for my mental well being. And I continue to do so, it makes things easier for me, it makes all the positive vibes rush in to my life. Gratitude has that power!


Gratitude makes us feel better, the more you practice this the more you will receive.

Here are 4 more reasons why you should take out time & thank some people you need to:

  • Gratitude improves psychological health : Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. 
  • Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression : Grateful people are more likely to behave in a pro-social manner, even when others behave less kind, according to a 2012 study by the University of Kentucky. Study participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback. They experienced more sensitivity and empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge.  Empathy leads to mutual respect, which improves the quality of you interpersonal relationships.
  • Grateful people sleep better : When you practice this gesture of gratitude towards another person your mind resonates those vibrations, and surprisingly when you recall those grateful sentiments before bed you end up sleeping better and longer. 
  • Gratitude improves self-esteem : A 2014 study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased athlete’s self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance. Other studies have shown that gratitude reduces social comparisons. Rather than becoming resentful toward people who have more money or better jobs – which is a major factor in reduced self-esteem- grateful people are able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments.
So go ahead, open that old photo album, rekindle some old forgotten relationships, call that old boss or classmate of yours, thank them for watching out for you or just letting you be.
I hope this helps you realize that life & karma both are so forgiving, they can offer us double of what we can offer them.

Stay happy stay blessed!
💗💟🙏

Can we Cultivate positivity?



Hearing about so many young boys & girls trying out suicide as an option because of stress, of different levels, makes me feel horrible!
Hence this post has been on my mind for the longest.
What is Stress? And why do we succumb to it so easily? In today’s time have we made it difficult for ourselves to nurture & nourish our minds with positivity? Are we missing the whole point of life here? Do we know how to cultivate positivity?
It is strange but true, that we live in a world which is extremely self consuming. Be it the internet, the social media and the technology, they were all created to make our lives easy & more entertaining. But we have rather chosen to be driven by these, and depend on them heavily. Social media, mobiles and many other mediums were created to share thoughts & stay connected with people. Perhaps, today that is not the only role these mediums play.
With the increasing competition and the race of ambitions anyone is bound to feel lost and defeated. There are times when each of us fails, whether it’s the most influential person in the world you know of or your peer at work or school. There are also times when life fails us at a personal level in the form of a grave illness, death of a loved one or anything unfortunate which we are not prepared for. Eventually some are able to get over it or are able to take it in their stride, whereas there are some who just cannot come out of this zone, they get stuck in the spiral of negativity which comes with these situations. They repetitively ask themselves why me? Instead of solutions they tend to focus on the problems.
I am no guru or pandit, neither do I want to be a philanthropist. I am just a regular person in this big world, just like someone you meet at your work, school or neighbourhood. I am one of you and because of that I am sharing my experience that can apply to anyone & everyone. With all the hard times I have seen in my life, all the failures & successes, I am sharing a simple step by step guide to combat this negative process and rise above this all to enjoy a quality life. Primarily cultivate positivity!
Step 1: Accept yourself
When something unfortunate happens to you or something difficult arises in your life, Step back, sit down and accept this willingly. By accepting I mean realising that this has already happened and you can do nothing to undo it. You may have failed, or lost a loved one or been through something miserable, but remember none of us can go back in time and change it. Not you, not me, not even god.
There is a saying about Lord Ram – he was the ultimate lord of his times, people called him the best leader, the best son, the best brother, he honed all the qualities for a great ruler as well, but could he escape hardships?? No!! The day he was supposed to be crowned the emperor of his kingdom, he was awarded with a 11 year exile punishment instead. Imagine his disappointment; he was thrown out of the kingdom he was supposed to rule. Then his wife was kidnapped (by Raavan) and he went through a line of struggles get her back & to live a regular life. You must wonder if he was god, he could easily undo all of this and live a life as per his desires. But did he?? No! why?? Because there is no learning in that! He learnt a great deal with each of these hardships. He accepted them like a challenge, he found a way to come out of these and prepared himself better to not let that happen again.
Don’t waste your time in thinking Why me? That will make no difference. It was meant to happen this way, but now what you do about it going forward makes all the difference. Accept your inner strengths & weaknesses and accept the situation gracefully. As they say, with acceptance comes the learning.
Step 2: Prepare yourself
We need to accept a situation as is, prepare ourselves to develop a temperament to be able to handle hardships better. It is not a skill one is born with, it is a skill we develop and master over time.
Meditate, pray, read positive books, do gardening, yoga or do anything that infuses your mind & body with positive energy. Refrain from complaining & cribbing it does the maximum damage. Practice kindness it does wonders to our minds & souls. Help people however you can. It will undo all the good you have done so far in positive thinking. This is work but it’s worth it; after the first initial times which will be hard & unusual, for the days to follow it will become a part of your life. Like we spend time getting ready for a party or an event, or a festival at home, we must also prepare our minds for the good & the bad times that we may have to encounter in life. Nurture your inner being. It doesn’t matter how old you are it is never too early or too late to develop a positive mindset. Do this yourself and encourage others to do it too.
Step 3: Detox often both your body & mind
Every religion has a practice to abstain from things you generally like for a stipulated time, ever wondered why. Well my reasoning is it’s a simple exercise for our mind & body to function outside our comfort zone; because that is where the real learning comes from. We regularly get sucked into the mundane, routine life and become comfortable with it. Hence a slight change in this settled mindset, throws us off the hook, and this is that exact point where stress creeps in. To be able to handle stress better. Detox from things or habits you are addicted to. It is tough to first accept that you may be addicted. It can be a video game or facebook browsing or even eating junk food. Spend some time to identify what your addiction is, once identified start with a detox plan, it could be a short duration plan based on your ability to handle this detox. It helps you create a better version of yourself. After this you can go back to step 1.
I will conclude with this belief that we have one life, which is so precious, please try out all other ways to fight depression & stress before you even think of even slightly harming your life. If all the other options don’t work try them again & again & again. Because no matter what the problem is, giving up should not be an option!
My book UmeniTherapy is just a small attempt to divert your minds to positivity through creative Destress Coloring. If you are feeling low or stressed, this is something I request you to try, after all this is the least I can do to ease your troubles.
Stay blessed!