Why hiring a Mother is a good idea?

Having a baby still remains one of the most unexplainable joys of human life! We are in 2019 and we are full of so much information, apps, facilities and things that make our life easier as mothers yet there is still one matter that subconsciously bothers almost every mother – “the stigma of going back to work after a baby”. There is a slight sense of incompetence that creeps in when a mother starts to think of her career.

Women comprise of almost 48% of the workforce in India. Yet only 27% of new mothers come back to work after a baby. Sad but true, it’s not only the society, the social pressure, the guilt, the lack ok help and the work life balance that makes it difficult.

Organizations tend to form an opinion far sooner than expected, once they hear of a baby. When it comes to going back to the corporate world, some eyebrows are still raised about how productive will this woman be after being a mother. Now that my daughter is 1 year old and I sat down to introspect what have I learnt in this one year as “me”, I was amazed. The speed, the clarity, the management, and the constant fight with exhaustion I was winning, I was acing it!!!!

I have no help, like no family or maids to care for my child. Initially it was by choice as I wanted to raise her my way. It was just me & my husband, and this is probably the reason why I realised how this has made me more organized, systematic and passionate about what I want to do with my time!

Apart from this, mothers haven’t heard a good word about themselves in a while. So I thought of breaking the ice and sharing 5 reasons why a new or old mother is a great hire for your team and how her motherhood has improved her productivity manifolds,

  1. Multi tasking – don’t even get me started on this one!!! I used to call myself a MultiTasker earlier but I really didn’t understand the real meaning of these words until I became a mother this becomes your first and most dependable life skill. while multitasking you should be able to do two things at the same time but prioritize in your head which is more important and to which you need to give your more attention. if it’s a mundane task, you practice well just so your multitasking doesn’t cause any hazardous damages!! Like typing while feeding or while changing the diaper making that customer service call and the list goes on. Multitasking isn’t just about doing two things at the same time it’s about prioritising which two things can you do together and which cannot come into this list at all.
  2. Planning – being a mum with no help around, except your spouse and your baby is an easy task only if you are able to plan things well! thankfully that was always a trait I had but I took it to the next level by literally planning whatever was within my control, days, hours or minutes in advance to the real action because planning saves lot of your time and your able to save time, money & energy.
  3. Crisis management – that’s the second name of motherhood because you have a crisis going on every hour! of course the scale is different but it’s also becomes a part of your brain to process faster when there is a situation and also helps you pre-empt any forthcoming situations that can be within your attentive radius.
  4. Creativity – after all a mother has only two hands and two legs but since there is so much to manage, you tend to become creative and find new ways the working things out to save a time and most importantly to save energy this skill comes in super handy at workplaces and you already know that.
  5. Compassion – I don’t think we mothers don’t give ourselves enough credit for what we go through during pregnancy and the effort it takes to push a human out alive out of our body and then raise him/her. This journey makes us understand value of life in general, loving a child makes us warm and compassionate. It makes us better at people management. Of course there are exceptions but I’d want to leave it at hormonal crisis or something. But I feel in today’s world you need skilled people along with compassion and respect for each other in general.

I’ve seen leadership sending their employees on multiple courses and workshops to learn the above mentioned skills and abilities, Which makes them better professionals and even better leaders. But nothing works like real life experience and training.

However, being a mother you get to learn this stuff hands on!! It can be hard but it’s about steering these learning into whatever you do as a professional.
A note –

For mothers- Get up, dust the damn formula off your butt and get going, you are now only a better version of yourself. Don’t waste your time analysing if you will fit in because you don’t have to. Whatever time you have taken a break for make sure you are able to apply those learnings into your working life. If you are passionate about what you do, motherhood will only make you better at it. Fight the stigma, fight the guilt and remember your child does not need a perfect mother, he needs a happy mother!

For organisations- I see some amazing recruitment campaigns encouraging women to get back to work after their journey as a mothers. It’s a great move but we also need to bring about a shift in the mindset within the organisation which includes leaders, your peers and managers who do not look at mothers being a liability. Don’t let “having a baby” become a deciding factor.

For everyone else – Be supportive to woman who wants to work after a baby, boost their confidence, give ideas, create opportunities, and provide solutions.

Share this someone today!!

6 points to help you raise better kids!

What I see these days it scares the crap outta me!!! I mean like really!! I am referring to these kids of the age of 0 to 10years and their parents. It like a whole new world to me. For over a year I have been observing families around me like new parents or parents of young kids and somehow I am baffled each time I see them handling their kids. and this seems like a generation thing. I know many couples who have kept the idea of having children on the bench for a while, just so that they get over their fears before they get there.

In my mind I had decided quite early that I am going to raise my kids exactly the same way me and my sister were raised, because I have absolutely great respect and appreciation with the way I was raised. I also thought that all my generation friends are going to be on the same page as me.
But what I missed out was – the Big difference being we were fauji kids and these were civilian kids. I do know a few civilian families matching the same standards of bringing up and background but that number is very little. But hats off to those parents who maintain the right balance, eventually it shows in your kids.
I am not bragging about my fauji background I am rather trying to highlight the basic fact that despite having many struggles and hardships fauji families face they raised their kids very well, with enough love, care and guidance, without obsessing about them.

Parents & friends please do not take any offence with this post, treat it as rather a helpful document (if I may call it so) or just a note sharing my experience.

Below are my observations, hope you can derive the best outta them. I see parents make the following mistakes today, and it makes me wonder 20 years later will these adults be able to contribute to the society or their surroundings fairly, when their parents have probably missed out on teaching them the basic of survival, just because they were busy providing their child what they never got as kids. Its a tough job I understand but don’t make it tougher by avoiding some basic life lessons that can transform your child’s behavior and personality.

1. Are you treating your spouse like a child and your child like a spouse??: So this is a very common one, most often I see young kids hogging all the limelight at home and at public places. They are the center of attraction of not just the people around but also their mother and father who have already spent all day with them. The kind of attention and warmth a couple needs to have for each other shifts to the kids and somehow they seem to think that is the good parenting trait. And all the ordering, stern looks and harsh pointers are saved for the spouse. Whether at home or outside I see couples exchanging flat, maid like looks and comments to each other. Somehow If I saw my parents treat me and treat each other this way I would have never respected their relationship, and would have probably always asked them to choose me over each other. I am sure I would have also become way more attention seeking, always dependent and looked after kind of child. If you do this then it time to relook at the way you are projecting your marriage before your child.

2. Teaching the lesson of ‘respect’ too late: Respect is not fear, its a feeling of regard for elders, younger siblings, servants , house helpers, others choices and opinions, our national flag or anthem. However I often see parents saying before a 4 year old kid, that he/she is too young to understand this. Which I disagree to, completely. You do not have to teach your child that word ‘respect’ instead teach him the feeling or emotion behind it. and the earlier you start the better they will grasp and relate to it. Suddenly when the child is 8 and you want him to understand all of this, he may not adapt to it and have ways to avoid it. It should be an integral part of his bringing up.   If you experience this, pls take a step back and re assess your parenting model.

3. Lack of discipline: I see kids getting away with anything and everything like slapping their mothers, to crying and howling in malls and public events and a lot more chaos just to get what they want. Put their foot down for every random wish they have. ok I understand you don’t want to be a strict parent but you have to teach the child the ability to abide by some rules. some day he will have to follow it right?? At school, at college at work. if you get him so used to free will he will soon not value it. Don’t be harsh, but at least be firm about the things or habits unacceptable by you. Your kids need that, trust me. I see kids grown into adults who did not have a hint of discipline while growing up, and trust me they are not a happy and averagely successful lot!

4.Rewards & gifts: Why are parents of this age mixing the two? Your child has certain needs like clothes, education and food. Now gifts are what he gets on an occasion but reward is what he gets when he accomplishes something. If you want you child to be a start performer  or become a result oriented adult. encourage him with rewards. Set a target, if he achieves give him that toy. if he does not, make him strive harder. remember you are preparing him to survive in the competitive, hard adult life. Don’t let your leniency take away his ability to set goals in life and meet them as well.

5. Set them free: why are you glued to your child 24*7?? You love them we know but overdoing this bores him. Trust me when I say this, I have had kids tell me how they want to do things with their own age group. Also it makes the child hungry for your attention and in fact everyone’s attention. You are making him a center of attraction invariably wherever you go but someday when he joins school or college and he does not get the same response from others he may get disappointed or even devastated. Hence its important you step back and let him lead his life with his things to do. Not everything he does has to involve you all day.
But to cut the chase short instead of giving them experiences, parents are choosing to shower them with materialistic gifts that they soon get bored of. you know why?? because you haven’t gifted the child something he cherished, something that changed in for the better and made him feel like a winner. Instead of letting him play on that phone or that swanky digital toy, send him out, make him join a dance class or karate or whatever? Where he interacts, learns and feels like an achiever. Don’t home bound him just because you think so. You want to raise you child well, balance his routine. with outside games, activities, interactions with all age groups and recreation.

6. Last but not the least, don’t shut down opinions or feedback from people who do not have kids yet, they may be better at analyzing or understanding child behavior, which can eventually help you make your child a better person in every way 🙂