What is EQ?
EQ is a popularly accepted abbreviation for Emotional intelligence/Emotional quotient. It is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they’re telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. It also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively using self awareness & empathy. Overall high EQ enables us to deal with people & situations in a more balanced manner, and improves the quality of our relationships. It enables us to inspire, engage & motivate people around us better.
No matter which field you are in, your journey to success will involve relationships & people. Not everyone you meet will be of a temperament or nature similar to yours. Your ability to built constructive interpersonal relationships with people at home or work is the measurement of your EQ. High EQ is gradually becoming a predominant quality of the most successful people in every walk of life. Yes, they have talent/knowledge but what makes them more successful is their EQ (70% of the credit is given to their EQ). With the worldwide growth in the business fraternity it has become imperative to have leaders & managers who are able to lead people with more EQ, primarily because human interactions drive our day to day lives, whether at work or at home.
Now emotional intelligence is not a skill one is born with, in fact it is a skill we can learn & master. This is the reason why it has made its way into school curriculum worldwide. Introducing this skill into the minds of kids early is a result of research on this subject & its positive outcomes.
If you want to check what is your EQ here is a link I found online, that can help you with it – https://www.iq-test.net/eq-test.html
Based on my knowledge & experience and reading some great people’s work in this field,
I am sharing some of the simplest ways to improve your EQ in a jiffy(kidding) it will be some work, but totally worth it. EQ isn’t something you develop once then drop. It is like rebuilding & updating your inner software from time to time. It’s a lifetime practice, and it is possible to keep improving. Even when you feel like you’ve mastered these steps, remember to keep practicing, and you’ll reap the benefits for the rest of your life:
1. Practice Observing How You Feel & Behave:
In the process of rushing from one commitment to the next, meeting deadlines, and responding to external demands, many of us lose touch with our emotions. When we do this, we’re far more likely to act unconsciously and inappropriately too.The emotional reaction we experience might be due to the current situation, or it could be that the current situation is reminding us of a painful, unprocessed memory.
When we pay attention to how we’re feeling or become aware of our emotions, we learn to trust our emotions, and we become far more able to manage them.
While you’re practicing your emotional awareness, pay attention to your behavior too. Notice how you act when you’re experiencing certain emotions, and how that affects your day-to-day life. Does it impact your communication with others, your productivity, or your overall sense of well-being?
It could be a feeling of stress, resentment or anger, how do you react then? Make a note of these instances.
EXERCISE: Maintain a dairy, a journal of sorts, pen down the highlights of your day/week, this will help you vent out your emotions constructively and you will also be able to analyze them without jumping to conclusions.
2. Take Responsibility for Your Feelings and Behavior
This is probably the most challenging step, and it’s also the most helpful. Your emotions and behavior come from you—they don’t come from anyone else—therefore, you’re the one who’s responsible for them.
If you feel hurt in response to something someone says or does, and you lash out at them, you’re responsible for that. They didn’t “make” you lash out (they’re not controlling you with puppet strings, after all!), your reaction is your responsibility.
Once you start accepting responsibility for how you feel and how you behave, this will have a positive impact on all areas of your life.
3. Practice Responding, Rather than Reacting
There’s a subtle but important difference between responding and reacting.
Reacting is an unconscious process where we experience an emotional trigger, and behave in an unconscious way that expresses or relieves that emotion (for example, feeling irritated and snapping at the person who has just interrupted you).
Responding is a conscious process that involves noticing how you feel, then deciding how you want to behave (for example, feeling irritated, explaining to the person how you feel, why this isn’t a good time to be interrupting you, and when would be better).
4. Practice Empathy
Empathy is about understanding why someone feels or behaves in a certain way and being able to communicate that understanding to them. It applies to ourselves and other people, and practicing this ability will improve your EQ.
Start by practicing with yourself. When you notice yourself feeling or behaving in a certain way, ask “Why do I think I’m feeling like this/doing this?” At first, your response might be “I don’t know,” but keep paying attention to your feelings and behavior, and you’ll start to notice different answers coming through. Use empathy & sensitivity towards people,their reactions and yours as well.
5. Create A Positive Environment
As well as practicing the skills I’ve mentioned so far, its imperative to make time to notice what is going well and where you feel grateful in your life.
Creating a positive environment not only improves your quality of life, but it can be contagious to people around you.Your mindset will transform and you will be able to adapt to situations & learning in a better way.
EXERCISE: Maintain a dairy, a journal of sorts, pen down what you are grateful for on a daily/weekly basis. I call it the gratitude journal. It infuses our minds with the required dose of positivity.
6. Practice mindfulness
Indulge in activities or practices that help you step away from the chaos and explore your emotions.
It could be yoga, meditation, journal-ling or even coloring. The choice is yours, choose what inspires & intriguies you and then make an effort to be consistent with it. In todays fast paced world it is so easy to get bored of doing the same thing, but this behavior only adds to our anxiety. Learn to curb this fidgety feeling & dedicate yourself to an activity that helps you relax & destress on a regular basis.
After the release of my coloring book for adults titled UmeniTherapy, I received emails from people using it as a daily ritual to engage themselves in a positive manner. Coloring is helping adults step out of their mobile crazy routines and explore their creativity, calmness, mindfulness & peace in their minds with only 15 minutes a day.
There are more blog posts of mine that can help you in this journey, feel free to browse & learn.
Perhaps, it is right to believe, if there is any skill we wish to learn or master we need our minds & our sanity to help us get there.
Hope this helps you be positive & improve your EQ!